Fragments
by shinigami714
Summary: A deal turned sour leaves Fili in a bad emotional state. He's never been a good man. But something about Kili makes him want to try. This story follows the events of Lion's Tooth and Noxious, I would recommend reading those first :).


**AN:** Written for the Winter Fandom Raffle Exchange, shamelessly filling my own prompt: 69. Somnophilia.  
This is a subject I've always wanted to tackle but never had the courage to do so. It seemed like the appropriate universe for me to give it a try.

This story follows the events of Lion's Tooth and Noxious, I would recommend reading those first :).

 **Rating:** M

 **Pairing:** Fili/Kili

* * *

 **Fragments**

The parking lot outside was barren apart from the row of motorcycles lined up beside one another. Fíli's eyes scoured the distance, watching as the odd vehicle drove by on the nearby highway. They were in the middle of nowhere, had been lucky to find a place to stay at all, but none of them felt comfortable sleeping out in the open that night, not after their deal turned sour.

It was supposed to be easy, just a small side job. They already had the gemstones in demand. Of course there was always that chance that the client was flakey and thought they could one up a half-witted gang of thieves. Thankfully Fíli and his comrades were a little more skilled than that, and always prepared for a fight. Fíli was frankly surprised they had been underestimated. The Kings had made a name for themselves in the past few years, and most clients they came across at least had the decency to show a bit of fear. But not this time. In a matter of seconds guns were pointed everywhere, eyes blazing as they waited for the first person to make a move. Fingers trembled over triggers, Nori sneered as he pressed the point of a blade a touch deeper into a man's back, and Fíli stared into the eyes of the man sitting across from him stonily, his gun clasped firmly in his hand. The eyes wavered, for a moment, and he thought that was that. Sometimes they could get out of those kinds of situations without a single life lost. Someone would laugh then put away their weapon, and one by one each person in the room would ease off, until the deal was back on, like nothing had gone awry.

But instead of backing down one of the other men had positioned a gun to Kíli's head, and that…that had fucked everything up. Fíli reacted without taking a moment to think, putting a bullet through the thug's neck in a matter of seconds, though not nearly fast enough. The other gun had gone off, and if not for Dwalin throwing his body into the brunet, the shot fired would have killed him instantly instead of merely grazing the side of his face. Fíli remembered catching sight of the terrified expression on Kíli's face, and then he murdered two more people in cold blood, the others following in his lead. They were out and riding a moment later, a few determined men on their tails. Gunshots and screeching tires followed them for the better part of an hour, but they were used to the roads, better at getting away on their motorcycles than the men tracking them were at navigating in their overpriced theatrical cars.

Fíli tensed as he caught sight of headlights approaching on the highway, relaxing only once the vehicle disappeared from sight. He knew Nori was keeping watch the next room over, at the ready just in case, but Fíli was unsettled. He turned his head, glancing at the form lying across the bed a few feet away. Kíli looked eerily still, his skin pale against the off white sheets, but his chest rose and fell slightly as he took each breath. Fíli tried to imagine what it might be like if it didn't, if there was no sign of life. There was an image so vivid in his mind, like he'd actually seen it before in another life. Kíli, on the ground, blood pooling around his head, mouth gaping permanently in an expression of intense shock. It made Fíli feel like retching, and his fingers trembled as he struggled to push such horrifying thoughts aside. He clenched his hands tightly into fists, fingernails scratching at the dried skin on his palm.

Kíli was a weakness.

He knew that. Thorin had warned him about such things. To grow attached was simply to create an opportunity to lose, an opportunity for leverage. But it was far too late for that. All he could see was Kíli. His thoughts always strayed to him. It was too late the first moment he laid eyes on the brunet. There was attraction, yes, but also something more to it than that. Something deeper. He wanted to save him and ruin him at the same time. Give him everything, take all he wanted in return, but he couldn't. He wasn't good enough for that. Never would be. Would only hurt him further. Fíli closed his eyes and took a steadying breath before letting the curtain fall back in place. When his eyes opened they landed once again on Kíli, studying the way his legs filled out the length of the bed, curved in just the right places.

The only solution was to leave the brunet behind. But he couldn't just let go. He was in too deep.

Fíli walked slowly towards the mattress, gaze roaming the other man's form slowly. He placed his hands on the edge of the bed, looked down at him, the boy, man, creature…no mere human could be so fucking perfect. His skin was flawless, his eyelashes settled low on gorgeous cheekbones. And when he danced…it was ethereal.

The blond placed a hand along the other man's neck, fingers grazing the stray hairs that curled beneath Kíli's ear. There were bruises lining his shoulder where it peeked out from below the neckline of his shirt, and Fíli frowned at the sight of them, let his thumb trail along soft skin so he could push the hemline away. Kíli mumbled something in his sleep and shifted atop the bed, one leg sliding forwards and revealing more skin along his exposed hip.

The movement was not lost on Fíli. His eyes immediately shifted, focusing on the slightly sheer material, his mouth opening with a heavy exhale. It was far too tempting to touch him, to move the shirt even higher in an effort to expose the swell of his ass. So Fíli did. The dragging fabric left gooseflesh in its wake, tiny bumps rising along the brunet's legs and rear. Kíli moved again, rolling onto his front and unknowingly exposing himself further. Fíli gritted his teeth, staring down at the sight longingly. He was like a crazed beast when faced with such a thing. It was as though Kíli ignited something inside of him, a want unlike anything he'd ever known.

Fíli reached out, grasping at the skin tenderly as he spread the man's cheeks apart. There was lube and come and spit still pooling at the edge of Kíli's hole, and to be honest, there rarely wasn't one of the three. Fíli was obsessed, fucked him at every available chance. Left his mark, made him feel it. He wanted everyone to know that Kíli was his. But in reality, Kíli owned him, and the kid didn't even know it.

Fíli would die for him, do anything for him. He would take him anywhere in the world, worship his body day and night. He would buy him expensive dinners, take him to the nicest hotels, kiss him for hours on a beach without a care in the world.

 _Fuck._

Fíli pulled his hands away, watched the red marks left behind slowly fade to nothing. It was a pipe dream. Impossible. He had a duty, to his family, to the Kings. He couldn't let such frivolous emotions get in the way. Besides, he wasn't that sort of man. The doting husband, the one that went to work and came home to a loving partner. Kíli wasn't either. They weren't from that world and never would be.

Fíli took what he wanted, when he wanted it. He stole, murdered, hurt others for a living. Even in that moment he wanted to take from Kíli without so much as asking. He could have pushed right in, then and there. Kíli was wet enough, used enough. It wouldn't matter in the long run. Just another fuck on another night. But it wasn't just that was it? It was so much more. Because Kíli was the only one he wanted, the only one he needed. And the thought of hurting him like that, using him like that, left an ache in his chest he couldn't seem to fight off.

Even still he was hard as a rock. Fíli rubbed a hand up the front of his briefs and groaned lowly at the sensation. The blond pulled his length out, ran thick fingers up and down the girth as he eyed the other man's entrance. There was no going back from something like this. It was one thing to coerce Kíli into sex while awake. He was usually receptive to it, even seemed turned on by that sort of treatment. And Fíli would have stopped the moment the brunet said otherwise, in a heartbeat. But fucking him while he was asleep? They hadn't discussed something like that at all. So why did that only fuel his arousal?

Kíli's legs parted at that moment, beckoning Fíli closer. He was hard too, his erection pushed down against the mattress, pre-come leaking from the head of his cock. The brunet's face was flushed, his mouth open slightly, and then Kíli's tongue snuck out, running along plush lips and moistening them. Even in his sleep Kíli was a vision. A vision Fíli desperately wanted to ravish.

Fíli was tempted to push in dry, but he stopped himself, settling back on his calves. He was screwed up enough as it was. The least he could do was make sure not to cause further harm. The lube wasn't far, just an arm's length away, and he uncapped it with one hand while sliding a finger along the brunet's crease towards his hole. He was met with little resistance, his finger sinking in right to the knuckle. Fíli groaned as come leaked out alongside his digit. Kíli's body always welcomed him so easily, like they were meant to be connected, fuzed together as one. He was so wet, Fíli wanted to press his face into his ass and eat him out. He wanted to lick him clean, inhale his scent. The blond's balls tightened in warning and he knew he wouldn't last if he did. He'd be shooting over the other man's calves like a teenager in no time. His jaw clenched as he slicked himself up thoroughly, squeezing at the base of his cock for a moment to calm down.

Fíli pulled his finger away, watching as the hole contracted like it was looking for something to grasp, before he lined himself up and pushed forward. Kíli hardly flinched at the intrusion, just a tiny sound, barely there. He didn't make much noise during sex…just little gasps and breaths of air, holding in the rest. He was too afraid to show weakness. They were similar in that way. The difference was that Fíli excelled at hiding his while Kíli's inner thoughts were glaringly obvious by the expression on his face or the slight shake in his voice. He was like a china doll sometimes…so breakable. It was as though a crack had formed and he was just one fall away from shattering completely. Fíli wanted to keep that from happening. But sometimes he thought he was just prolonging the inevitable, the crack increasing in size with each passing day. Hell, he was probably part of the problem.

He slipped inside slowly, easing his length along further until his body was flush against Kíli's back. He could hear the other man's heavy breathing; feel the steady pulse as he pushed his nose into the brunet's neck. The blond closed his eyes, breathed in deeply. He focused on the warmth of Kíli's body, tried to hold off his orgasm long enough to get in at least a few thrusts. It was in moments like these that Fíli's strength wavered. There was nowhere else he'd rather be than pressed alongside this man. His hands trembled as he nearly fell atop the brunet's body, inching his arms around Kíli to hold him in his grasp.

The sudden weight seemed to startle the other man, and he gasped and jerked awake in surprise. His heart rate skyrocketed as his eyes flashed open, and for a moment he struggled against the hold. Fíli froze, guilt eating away at his soul. He was a terrible person for doing such a thing, and yet Kíli's movements did nothing to will away his arousal. The brunet's hips pressed upwards, taking the blond's cock in even deeper, and Kíli cried out in surprise, his fingers clenching in the sheets before he finally stilled. His head turned to the side, dark eyes meeting ice blue.

There was so much visible in that gaze. Too many emotions to name. Fíli waited for the inevitable. For the other man to scream and try and get away. He waited for the yelling, the accusations, and the fear. For Kíli to run.

It was a moment of truth. The moment Kíli would finally realise just what sort of man Fíli was.

The blond loosened his hold and held his body up slightly, giving Kíli the space to escape should he need it. It wasn't right to keep him there against his will, but the brunet didn't move at all. He blinked a few times, twisting his neck to keep his gaze on Fíli's eyes, perhaps searching for an explanation. One that Fíli didn't have. The blond propped himself on one arm and swiped his fingers along the other man's brow, wiping away a few dark hairs as if to apologize, but he wasn't sorry. Not really. Not in the way he should have been. Some of the tension left the brunet's body, and Fíli prepared for the worst as Kíli turned his head further, seemed about to push the blond away, only to rise up and press a gentle kiss against his chin instead.

Fíli faltered, eyeing the brunet with a widened gaze, and then there was another kiss, closer to his mouth. The blond frowned in confusion as he was beckoned closer, lips searching out his own, moving against him languidly, until he responded in kind. They kissed like that for some time, locked against one another intimately. Kíli's neck must have been straining from the awkward angle, his back likely aching from the way it arched up to reach him, but he made no complaint, only eagerly dissolving into the kiss. When they pulled apart, both men were panting, faces flushed and mouths wet and messy. Fíli couldn't resist running a hand along Kíli's neck, stroking his windpipe and holding his head steady beneath his jaw. The brunet looked so fragile against his palm, and Fíli knew he could have tightened his grip, easily cut off the other man's air if he wanted to.

It was a strange sort of power to feel.

No. Not power. _Responsibility_.

This kid…

How was it possible for someone to look at him like that? To show not a single ounce of fear with their life in another's hands. He didn't deserve that affection, but he craved it all the same. Fíli kissed along the brunet's neck and tugged the other man's hips up, thrusting into the lithe body a little harder than before. He felt Kíli's head swing back as he moaned, his body tightening in all the right places. It felt far too good. So he thrust again, and again, revelling in the slapping noises and quick jerks of Kíli's ass. The brunet reached out to grasp the bed frame, and it slammed against the wall loudly with each forward movement, his voice echoing throughout the room.

Fíli's hand left Kíli's neck to latch onto his hair, tugging his head back roughly as he became frantic in his movements. He drove forwards harder, faster, too violently, but the noises Kíli made urged him on. The brunet met his body with eager backward movements, and he reached back to latch onto Fíli's arm. Long fingers grasped at the blond's skin, squeezing tightly, reassuring him for just a few seconds before letting go to tug at the length hanging between long legs.

God he was getting off on this, looked ready to burst, and Fíli would follow right behind him. It might have been the hottest thing he'd ever seen, next to Kíli dancing for him alone. Staring him down under stage lights as he spread his legs suggestively. The brunet's cock was a deep red and dripping, slick with sweat and pre-come. Slender fingers staggered as they stroked along the sensitive skin, and Kíli shuddered as he squeezed himself tightly in an attempt to prolong his pleasure. Both of them wanted this to last. But they rarely managed such a thing. Their lovemaking was far too wild, too emotion-fuelled and erotic.

The blond let his eyes roam upwards, taking in the flush spreading down the other man's body. Red patches decorated his skin, and his nipples were peaked and visible through the fabric of his shirt. There were scratches too, from where Fíli had been too rough. Bruises on his thighs, and the tiny cut along his cheek bone from a bullet that came far too close.

Fíli's body froze, and he remembered again how Kíli had looked at gun point. It wasn't even the first time, but something about it had seemed different, so much more frightening. It had happened so quickly, with little time to prepare. And his instinctive reaction had been to shoot, not protect. As a result, Fíli had nearly lost Kíli permanently. The brunet would have most certainly died if not for Dwalin's quick reaction.

He didn't realize he was shaking until fingers ran through his hair, scratching at his scalp soothingly. The blonde pressed his nose into the other man's spine, wrapped strong arms around his torso tightly. His fingernails dug into Kíli's shirt, fabric bunching up around them. Fíli didn't deserve him, this perfect creature in his embrace. Not in a million years would he ever be worthy of his love.

The blond practically snarled as he fought off the burning feeling starting up behind his eyes. He hadn't cried in years, wasn't about to start again now, but his eyelashes moistened regardless. Kíli's shirt clung to his face, dampened with a combination of sweat and stray tears. Fíli let out a frustrated gasp of air. He was falling apart, like a child. Not like the man he was supposed to be.

Strong willed, fierce in the face of danger, emotionless and cold-hearted. Those were the characteristics of a King. That was what was expected of him, what he had worked so hard to perfect. Kíli was the only one that could make him feel this way. So weak. So fucking broken.

He was thrown down on the mattress a second later, and Fíli fell limply atop the sheets. Even Kíli was disgusted with him, moving away when he showed a hint of weakness. But then a hand touched the side of his face, cupping his cheekbone delicately, and a weight settled on his lower body, that same slick heat encasing him as it had just moments before. He looked up into beautiful brown eyes, completely awestruck. Even in a dingy motel room, with stains on the ceiling and peeling wallpaper, Kíli somehow managed to look like a heavenly being.

The brunet bent low, until their noses nearly touched and then he began kissing along Fíli's jaw. They were short little things. Just a hint of pressure. Each ghost of a touch sent a shiver running throughout the blond's form. Kíli made his way further along, nipping at one ear before retracing his steps to find the other. His fingernails caught in the hair framing Fíli's face, and then both hands slid lower, dragging softly along the skin of the blond's shoulders and arms. The significance behind those touches was almost too much for Fíli to bear, and he reached up, pulling Kíli close. The brunet let out a surprised squeak as he was tugged down aggressively, flush against the other man's form. Fíli held him far too tight, so much it had to hurt. He'd never needed someone so badly in his life before. He'd never felt so…vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," Fíli muttered against the other man's temple, dark hair clinging to his lips. For what, he wasn't sure. For uprooting his life? Putting him in constant danger? For hurting him? Practically raping him? Kíli jerked in his grip, clearly surprised to hear such a thing. The blond rarely apologized, never felt the need. He didn't regret his actions, he didn't regret killing. But hurting Kíli…that was tearing him apart.

Kíli wiggled in his grasp until he was able push himself up on his elbows. He looked a bit mystified, his eyes glassy and wide, his lips parted slightly like he wanted to say something but couldn't form the words. There were circles under his eyes, from stress, or lack of sleep, it could have been either. The last few days were clearly wearing on him. Long hours on the road, a heist followed by a deal gone wrong. They were always on the move, not a moment to stop and rest properly, and he was in desperate need of a break. It was just once more reason for him to hate Fíli, to regret his choice to stay at the blond's side. The brunet's face morphed though, mouth upturning at the sides, and his expression became almost fond before he let out a long sigh. Kíli's body fell back in place, his lips hovering not an inch away from Fíli's as he framed the blond's face with his hands.

"It's okay, everything's okay," Kíli whispered, and then they were kissing again, like they were devouring each other's souls. Everything wasn't okay, not by a longshot, but hearing those words from his lover had Fíli wishing they were true. He wanted to try and make them that way. His jaw tilted upwards as the brunet pulled away, and then Kíli was riding him like a wild animal. He was still aroused, achingly so, and when the other man twisted his hips in a circular motion Fíli rammed upwards with a desperate moan. Kíli's eyes flashed at him dangerously, drawing out that inner demon that wanted nothing more than to claim and take and make its mark. He could have sworn the brunet recognized its presence, responded to it eagerly, holding the blond down as he brought them both to climax. They snarled and ground against one another, left a mess of come across the sheets. Fingernails scratched against skin, blood blooming on the surface and staining Kíli's shirt. Arms grappled, teeth snapped, and nostrils flared, before they collapsed together in a pile of wayward limbs.

Fíli's chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath. He was parched and exhausted, but mustered enough energy to cradle Kíli's body close to his own. The other man heaved against him, murmured something nonsensical as he nudged his head against the blond's chest. He twisted his neck, exposing the new marks lining his skin, and Fíli touched them all with admiration.

Maybe they were both just that messed up. Maybe they were made for each other. Fíli didn't believe in fate or destiny, it was a person's actions plain and simple that directed their life. But there was just something different about the two of them. Kíli had chosen to stay in Astermoor, and Fíli had gone back for him anyway. A man with no reason to do so and he had. Maybe it was never Kíli that needed saving. Maybe it was him all along. Kíli didn't make him weak, he made him strong. He gave Fíli something more than quick cash, and cheap thrills. He gave him something to live for.

It was several minutes later that Kíli cleared his throat and tilted his face upwards. He seemed to study Fíli for a moment, eyes searching every feature on the blond's face.

"You should have asked," Kíli said quietly, though it lacked the accusatory tone Fíli was expecting. The blond swallowed, looked away for a moment, before offering a barely there nod.

"I should have asked," he admitted. Kíli made a noise deep in his throat, one that meant he'd heard and somehow understood, and Fíli kissed him gently in response. They explored each other's mouths lazily, despite already knowing each and every surface therein like the back of their hands. Fíli loved this part, where he could enjoy Kíli without any sort of rush or desire to do more. He loved kissing Kíli until their bodies grew cold, semen drying on their skin as a reminder of their pleasure. He loved staying inside of the other man until he was forced to slip free, no longer hard enough to do so. He loved watching his lover squirm as come dripped down his legs, flush rising across those cheekbones long after he'd first put it there. He loved him. He loved him so fucking much.

Fíli squeezed him just a little bit tighter at the thought, pausing to look at the brunet before they settled in to sleep. His palm moved idly up and down Kíli's back, stroking over his spine, and the other man shivered and shimmied closer.

"I trust you," Kíli spoke, leaving a brush of air trailing across the blond's ear. It wouldn't have been audible at all had they not been curled so close together.

 _You shouldn't,_ Fíli wanted to say, but he kept quiet instead. He imagined a future where they talked about things like this, planned things like this, and it just seemed impossible. But maybe it wasn't so unreal after all. Each day he was melding into a slightly different man. A man who was less afraid of what other's thought, a man who was less afraid to love and be loved in return. Maybe they weren't so broken after all. Maybe they were just waiting for that missing piece to create the whole. Perhaps one day he would deserve that trust that Kíli placed in him. He desperately hoped so.


End file.
